This post is going to be delving into the things that we can expect from the Divine at the beginning of our relationships and what we can do to prevent miscommunication and misjudgment.
There is a kind of desperation that is felt when most people start working with Deities. It becomes a novelty in this day and age and we get excited – and we should be excited. This sort of work is nothing short of amazing and beautiful. The Divine being among us is a cause for celebration and joy rather than to be mocked and disgraced. However, this does leave room for error and I will get to that in a moment.
The stigma around working with a Deity seems to change depending on who you are talking to and what circles you run in. We tend to both have a lot more control where it comes to the Divine than we think we do and also a lot less control in other places where we don’t realize. It equals itself in every dynamic you have with a Deity, but it won’t ever be such that you know everything there is to know about Them.
It is not that we don’t have control over our own destinies and fates, but there is a gray area in which we can relate to Them and where They do make a difference in our lives, bodies, and souls.
It is not impossible to have an intimate, exciting and emotional relationship with a Deity while also expressing concerns about miscommunication and misjudgment. It is neither black nor white.
Deities are not material. They do not abide by the rules of human relationships. They can not be there every single day and manifest in your home and tell you exactly what They need from you. It can happen, of course, with the right tools, but at the beginning of a relationship this is likely not going to be the case.
The basic rules of physical materiality do not apply to Them which makes the grounds for laying down boundaries and expectations shaky at best. It is immensely uncomfortable no matter Who you are working with – not knowing what They are capable of, unfortunately, comes with the territory of mysticism.
There is a lot of learning to achieve on both sides of the relationship. The Deity has to learn to know the human and vice versa. We can pretend that They know everything there is to know about us but until they manifest in a way that is relatable and touchable, They will not have the fullest picture possible about who we are in the world and what we see ourselves as.
That being said, it is likely that when you do develop a range of ideas when it comes to what you’re going to be working on with a Deity, it is going to take some time to develop it enough that real progress can take place. Time is, unfortunately, not on our side as humans and we are typically used to instantaneous results especially in this modern day and age.
For a Deity, though, time is not something They are fully aware of because They are not bound to time nor space. The principle that you must ask for signs to confirm everything you do is likely going to leave you disappointed as the Divine doesn’t always know exactly what you want and when – They know what They want to provide and things lining up the way you want it to is not always going to be an option. I am not saying don’t ask for signs – but unfortunately, it may not be three crows on a Tuesday on your way to work. It doesn’t work like that.
There are, of course, moments where it does line up. Times where there is more liminality and the lessening space between the immaterial and the material tends to bring about more rapidfire results. This is why Fall and Spring tend to be the most spiritually active times of the year for humans and Gods alike. Pagans tend to come out of the woodwork because the relationships get easier to maneuver during these times.
Crossroads are also poignant parts where the energy is a lot more palpable and easier for the Divine to maneuver and deliver a sign or omen. Parks, gas stations, and airports and places that are inherently more random in nature are easily manipulatable. Divides between two locations as well as ley lines also tend to rile up energy easier.
If this is not an environment you are currently in, that is okay. These are only environments that are more susceptible to Divine influence and not necessarily the only places that can be influenced. However, to be aware of this fact can empower you to seek these sorts of locations to access the Divinity you wish to work with and enable you to have easier access points for Them to manifest.
Knowing what is possible for the Divine and knowing what isn’t possible creates an easier way of communicating what you can expect from Them. This leaves the door open for more growth and relationship when you realize that. The Divine are not fairy godmothers or vending machines.
If the Divine wishes for you to know that They are there, They will make an effort to provide confirmation should it be in Their benefit. If not, it is more or less not going to be helpful for Them and you may want to reconsider Who you are working with. It is an easy expectation that if the Deity that you want to work with is also wanting to work with you, too, you can expect something of a sign that would indicate that They are with you. Their energy packs a punch. If you receive a sign or indication that They are there, your body will respond in equal measure to that sign or omen. You will know Who it is and why and where.
If the sign doesn’t happen and it’s been a long enough period of time, you may want to consider that Who you are wanting to reach out to doesn’t exactly have any desire to reach back. This isn’t to deter you from leaving offerings or building a shrine or doing whatever you’d want to. When it comes to opening lines of communication, doing intense and deep shadow work, among other things associated with building a closeness to the Divine, it is required for you to be open to Their energy and for Them to also make Themselves apparent.
You can leave all of the offerings you want on your shrine and get nothing – not even an omen.
On the surface, it is much easier for a Deity to send you smaller things like signs, omens, divination, etc. than it is to more fully manifest and be able to speak clearly enough to you. If a Deity doesn’t want communication, They will not put forth the effort, and it should be worth noting that if you want to have that kind of relationship but They do not.
It is not worth your time to be pandering another Deity when it comes to who you want to work with. If They are not being reasonable and not communicating with you, it is safe to say that you are going to need to bark up another tree. This isn’t to sound mean or grumpy, but this is a choice. If you wish to waste your time hoping that a Deity who hasn’t made Themselves apparent will reach out to you, that is your choice and your effort.
It is important not to gaslight yourself, either. If you feel that an omen or sign is there and waiting for you and that was your first gut reaction, you need to follow that. Thinking you are unworthy for the bare minimum of what the Divine are capable of is going to be harmful at the end of the day.
It is a natural reaction to want to have proximity enough that you begin to see signs and omens because you are thinking of the Deity you want to reach out to. It is a natural response of being human. And as humans, we are naturally drawn to the Divine. Being hopeful and excited is not going to deter the Deity from wanting to reach out to you. Being new at this and excited to explore isn’t going to make the Deity care and more or less for you – it is just an easy thing to feel when all of this is so important to our own wellbeing.
It isn’t that you are going to fail if you feel like you’re seeing something and it’s not Them, it just means it will decrease the chances of you being wrong and make it so that next time you feel a nudge, it may be a little more accurate.
Pursue this work with playful curiosity and adventure and you will never be 100% wrong. Pursue it with dogma and shame and you will become burdened with it. This is where it becomes an obligation and not an opportunity for fulfillment and spiritual development.
It can only be harmful if, at the end of the day, the Deity does not want to talk to you and you ignore the unfortunate truth that not all Gods are interested in the kinds of relationships we want with Them. If you find yourself feeling guilty and ashamed for even wanting this, it will eventually feel miserable.
Wanting the attention of a Deity is not something you should have to worry about wanting. Feeling upset when this doesn’t happen is normal. They can and should make Themselves apparent. As long as you go about your request respectfully and with an offering, you will more than likely be successful as long as They want it, too.
People are always thinking they are going to mess up and be rude when there is nothing to lose in reaching out to a Deity and everything to gain. There is no shame in being wrong, either. Everyone messes up in some capacity. I have known people who believed they were talking to a Deity for years only to figure out it was a sock puppet – but even then, they were not completely wrong. The Deity still wanted the relationship. It just wasn’t fully what they thought it was going to be.
The point I’m making here is that both sides need to be working in tandem when reaching out. If a Deity is not pulling Their own weight, it is typically in your best interest to move on. It is the same as when you are texting your friend and they stop replying for several months and then quit altogether – you don’t want a friendship with them. It is more than likely another Deity has been reaching out this whole time and you’ve been ignoring Them in interest of another.
Devoured by Flame 