Devoured by Flame

There are certain things to consider when building a relationship with the Divine. Building rapport with the Divine means learning how to operate in a way that is more respectful and tolerant for our differences while also acknowledging that there is a connection and understanding between us and Them.

These are some of the things that we should take into consideration while approaching a Deity we want to work with regardless of whether They approached us first, or we approached Them. All of these need to be in place to understand the context surrounding what it is like to build a more meaningful relationship with the Divine instead of making us feel as though we have specific rules or obligations or criteria to meet in order to do so. 

We are not automatically friends

Even if we know that They are a part of us, we cannot assume we will be fast friends. We know that They are still Their own independent beings from us while also being a part of our nature. We can hold these two things at once to form a better understanding and not swing too far to one side in the process. 

We can understand that They do not care for humans in the way that the Christian god allegedly seems to – that there is an automatic assertion that love is between the human and the Divine being. There is a love for humans within Divine nature, but building relationships with Them takes time and it’s a part of getting to know Them just as well as it is getting to know Their processes and independence from us as well. 

You do not go up to some stranger on the street and say “hey, fucker” and this holds true for Them, as well. The most noted I’ve seen this behavior is with my Deity Loki considering people know Him to be very casual. As casual as He is known for being, respect is necessary. I know Him to be very discerning with whom He allows into His inner circle who are allowed to be more casual than not with Him so please be aware that if you are working with Him, do not approach Him like you would some sort of friend if you have not had interactions with Him before much less know that that is your kind of relationship with Him. This holds true for all Deities, of course, but feels particularly important in regards to Loki’s followers given the standards they seemed to make for themselves that are less than what other Deities receive. 

Offerings

We cannot come up to Them without an offering. Even when They approach you, an offering is still warranted. Offerings can look like any number of things, food, beverage – alcohol is always preferred but even water that has been blessed can be offered – or even art or songs or poetry. Anything that has meaning within the context of who that Being is would also be highly received. 

Do not, however, take the offering away until after the Divine has consumed it but while they are consuming it, be there to stand witness. This looks like lighting a candle and being at the altar while you are making the offering. Even if you can’t seem to feel that They are there, making the offering intentional can put you into their scope of being. 

Lighting a candle or burning incense is a great way to invoke the presence of the Deity toward the altar in order to receive the offering. Stay at the altar for as long as the incense is smoking or the candle is burning and speak to Them at that point rather than turning and walking away. I wrote more on the process of giving an offering here. 

Do not throw an offering on the altar and call it good and then walk away only to remove it a week later once it’s grown mold and gone stale. Take the offering off of the altar the moment after the candle you have lit has been extinguished or the incense has gone out. If the Deity has received it, They would have removed what They needed from the offering while you were actively sitting there. You can consume it if desired, but I have personally noted that the taste and the enjoyment out of the food or drink has often been removed should the offering be successfully given. This isn’t a tried and true fact, but this seems to be pretty consistent with everything I’ve given Loki and then eaten promptly thereafter. 

Frequency and Obligation

Though it should not be an obligation to be frequent in our devotions, it is, however, necessary for building rapport with the Divine. While They will not smite you for not doing something for Them, you cannot expect to have a proper relationship built with Them unless you are consistent with your time spent for Them, frequent offerings, and frequent mentions of Their name in prayer or otherwise. 

If you are promising Them certain times of the day or certain hours or durations, it would be in the best interest to keep to that. In those cases and those cases only would you be obligated to perform a ritual, offering, or devotion to Them. Do not make promises you could not keep. It is not respectful and it can chip away at your rapport with the Deity such that They don’t deem it worthy to come around once it’s been destroyed. 

I find it much easier to not promise any time for Them. I have ADHD and therefore cannot follow a schedule to save my life. Therefore, my offerings and devotions tended to be off the cuff and done whenever I feel like it’s most important or just because I want to be close to my God. Loki – as well as other Deities – prefer these sorts of things to be authentic to us rather than for it to be expected. Find whatever works best for you to make it meaningful for you just as well as Them. Once upon a time, I promised to make daily offerings. Those fell through and the promise was broken. Which is okay, of course, as long as I replaced it with something meaningful but if I did not follow through on it, I would have to answer for it. Make it work for your own energy and time. If it’s not important to you to have this sort of thing, then it shouldn’t be prioritized. But if it is, certain things would need to be reconsidered. 

For example, I take the time to write in my journal while giving an offering to Loki with the candle lit or the incense burning. I talk about my day and write love letters often. Even if it’s just silly shit, I know that He loves to hear what’s going on in my life given that He didn’t always have the ability to participate in it much like He does now. I have about three journals filled with daily letters that have felt important for me to keep near or on His altar. It’s an easy activity to do and the handwritten part of the letter and entries also imbue this with more energy and emotion rather than it being dry and ritualized. 

Promises and Oaths

As mentioned previously, you should not make promises you don’t intend to be keeping. This is something a lot of people shy away from and it’s rightly so. However, at the same time, you should not be terrified of the potential of breaking your promises. Promises can be renegotiated at any time. If it no longer works for your lifestyle or level of priority, you can make that known to the Divine and then renegotiate with Them a better way of holding up your end of the deal instead of letting the broken promise fester and allow other shame-driven behavior to uphold.

They know that you have a life outside of Them – a life worth keeping in spite of being Their follower – and so it’s understandable that you do not need to make promises you can’t hold onto and it would be more respectful of you to let them know that. They also do not read your mind nor do They not always know what is exactly going on in it. If you don’t let Them know what happened and make yourself accountable for the way you hold up your end of the deal, then it will go unseen and unknown to Them until you do what’s right and tell Them. It’s the same for any other relationship with your friends or lovers or boss. You cannot expect them to know what’s going on, so why expect the Gods? 

Oaths, on the other hand, shouldn’t be made lightly. That is another post for another time where I will go into detail about what oaths can look like and where the line is with them. 

In Conclusion

It is important to note that we seem to swing from one side of the scale to the other when it comes to making the Divine a part of our lives. We feel like we must have complete formality while also not knowing the differences between showing respect and integration. Christian influences seem to block the Divine from truly and fully inhabiting our lives while also making it seem like shame should be a justified part of our practice. Without shame, we feel as though there is no point in having a relationship because there are no rules or importance in these manners without there being a moral benefit. 

There is no moral benefit to working with the Divine. If anything, it is a way for us to be more completely ourselves and create a more tolerable existence with Them. There is a lot of promise in building a society where the Divine are not treated like animals or aliens and we can work more diligently and closely with one another instead of using Them as leverage to control our fellow humans. 

This post is part of a series which you can find here.