13 July: What does Loki’s gender-bending nature mean to you personally?
I think the gender bending quality is something of a… perk? I mean that in all the ways possible. Both because I felt like Loki’s confidence and ability to switch between genders helped me come to realize that gender is stupid. I came to realize that being non-binary and asserting such a nature wasn’t a burden and I found out my feelings about such gender in a way that made me feel generally more comfortable in my own skin.
I don’t know if I can say that it was Loki who directly helped me come out as non-binary, or if it was the fact that after such a time of working with Loki so deeply and intimately did I come to realize a lot of structures we deemed as normal were stupid.
Later on, perhaps this last year, I came to realize that gender is something of a performance. I love dressing up in costume and doing theater and so when I came to realize that any sort of gender I put on is just a costume and the gender is a character.
This greatly reduced my issues with gender dysphoria any time I wanted to wear a dress but didn’t want to look too girly if I wasn’t feeling it. Or any time I wore anything particularly masculine leaning or a sports bra instead of a regular one.
It was through this realization that I also realized that people are allowed to wear masks. They reflect who we are deep down – human – and they don’t have to lie. And also, you don’t have to show everyone what’s underneath the mask. Not everyone needs to see every aspect of me.
Devoured by Flame 