4 July: When–if ever–was the first time you felt afraid of Loki?
The first time I ever felt afraid of Loki was… probably a couple months into my relationship with Him where I felt challenged to speak my truth about my current religious path to my (now) fiancé. Loki likely knew that it would kickstart a lot of feelings and wobbly parts in my relationship with my fiancé and that it wouldn’t be comfortable.
My fiancé is atheist and wasn’t receptive of what I had to say and essentially mocked me for what I was doing. This set fire to… a lot of things in my way between who I felt I was as a person and who I needed to express to the world minus my fear.
And so, I also felt faced with Loki’s immanence. I saw the layers of action and reaction that unfolded by this one small start and it became glaringly obvious that I wasn’t dealing with just chance or my own mental make believe. Loki was real and He was actively making Himself apart of my life and pushing me where I needed to go and I think that, in itself, to a former atheist, is mind boggling and slightly terrifying.
Honestly, that’s where a lot of fear I have of Loki comes from. He isn’t seen or sometimes not even heard and yet is still a glaring and functioning existence in my life that I can’t ever seem to leave. Not that I would want to, of course. I’d rather chop off a limb than ever leave Loki. I’d rather be terrified for a few fleeting moments and walk out better and stronger because of it and 100% of the time I always have.
Devoured by Flame 